Week 10, Day 70 – "Worst and Rest"

Worst and Rest

only one tiny bulb left burning
overhead in the cheap chandelier
just enough light for my confession

forgiveness can only come from gods
but he and I are having troubles
so I thought I would write to you, Ann.

you were there when I lost my brother
kindness in the comfort of your arms
reassured that the pain wouldn’t last,

everyday, I remembered the shot,
my brother, first in shock, then screaming,
and the face of the man who shot him

you tried to tell me that nothing good
could come of thinking about it
that in time, the memories would pass

time past, but nothing got better
larry’s face twisted with tears and blood
staring, looking at me for answers

I couldn’t make the blood go away,
couldn’t keep pretending to forget
going on with my daily routine

tonight, I saw again a killer
no longer the sick look of hatred
that he had when he killed my brother

tonight, his face was fear and panic
he must have recognized in my face
a look reflecting his face before

I have done the worst,
and now must rest.